You won't believe the breaking news from the White House: Israel? Palestine? DJ MAGA? Horny?
- Evan Michael McIntyre
- Aug 7
- 5 min read
The Best Music Mix Playlist to go with your coffee:
#kendricklamar #Journey #petshopboys #theweeknd #Metallica #TheBeatles #MichaelJackson #Beyonce #lynyrdskynard #Creed #2Pac
(the Best Mix Ever!) YouTube Music @DJClubEvan or Click Here:
Follow ClubEvan.com
@DJClubEvan on the new Tumblr, X, Instagram, OnlyFans (where I DJ shirtless and in jockstrap for 18+),
🎶 Listen to the best music playlists on the planet at @DJClubEvan on YouTube Music—
Snapchat Where you’ll hear bands that I discovered like Metallica and Sir Mix-a-Lot
📩 To do business: linkedin.com/in/clubevan
DJ Evan from Heaven – 777
Straight from the skies with beats that bless.
🌞💦 "I am your glitter-faced DJ for the ultimate summer pool party! Broadcasting live from the deep end with waterproof beats and disco dreams!" 🎧💃
DJ Evan from Heaven – 777
Straight from the skies with beats that bless.
Jesus died on the cross so you can be relieved of the burden of being a sinner. It is natural to sin... you are human. I sin a hundred times a day, but every night I pray to Jesus and ask him to make me a better man and sin less. He knows I am human and will sin again, and that is okay. I just do my best. He died on the cross—he took on the pain of your sins so you don't have to worry. Have fun.
First, of course, do no harm. Then, above all, God wants you to have fun. Stay sober and do proper nutrition and exercise, of course. How can you heal the world if you are a mess? God helps those who help themselves. You are a star in the making... and you will heal the world by showing people they are loved. The world is starving for that. That is your calling. Everything happens for a reason. You are reading this for a reason. God is speaking through me to you.
You now have a mission—a purpose—to heal broken hearts. But you must heal yourself too. God helps those who help themselves. So exercise, proper nutrition, yoga, meditation, prayer, qigong. Hit the gym so you are attractive to others and be the star you were meant to be—and take a message of ONLY LOVE to the world.
Remember: “He who is without sin, cast the first stone.” Judge not, lest ye be judged. Make sure your porch—your side of the street—is clean before judging others. And for God’s sake, don’t be a bossy Karen. And men can be Karens too. Even my own mom knew better than to tell me what to do.
So like I said, it all happens for a reason and you are meant to hear this from Jesus and God. You will always be okay. Guardian angels—right here on earth—including me, a very powerful Free Bird King of the Scottish Rite Masons, told you that you were reading this for a reason... because you graduated to a higher level of human being—a heaven-bound Free Mason.
Welcome to the club.
If you are reading this, I don’t want to scare you... but you have been chosen. Stand by for more info in my blogs. Yes—you, through the magic of druid Sith technology and the best intel in the world—Scottish Rite Masons inviting you in.
God loves you. Jesus wants—above all—for you to be healthy and sober, so you can take a message of LOVE to those in need... especially our homeless veterans.
Semper Fi.
Live Free or Die.
In the words of Winston Churchill:
Never give up.
Climb every mountain, young Anakin and Princess Leias.
Follow ClubEvan.com
@DJClubEvan on the new Tumblr, Instagram, OnlyFans (where I DJ shirtless and in jockstrap for 18+),
🎶 Listen to the best music playlists on the planet at @DJClubEvan on YouTube Music—
Where you’ll hear bands that I discovered like Metallica and Sir Mix-a-Lot
📩 To do business: linkedin.com/in/clubevan
A message from DJ Evan MC about Horny and DJ MAGA:
#TikTokLive @DJClubEvan @OfficialHorny ClubEvan.com ✝️🎤🎶
Friends: Tell Horny to F around and find out who’s boss — and stop trying to steal my thunder Horny.
@OfficialHorny is nefarious. Friends go there and tell him DJ Evan will put a cap in his ass if he comes near me again. The only reason I won’t do that is because I’m a fucking Christian but Lord help me I have murder on my mind when I think of the way Beavis and Butthead, Dumb and Dumber, Killjoy 1 and Killjoy 2 treat my sorry ass. I’m Mad as hell not going to take it anymore.
Also, DJ MAGA — you may have saved my life, and I’m pro-guns too — but stop calling me a libtard and making fun of my hair and nose. I’m not a lefty — you are a n@zi. My Mexican posse thinks you’re scum - puta, el pendejo. Since I was conceived by Mom and Dad while they were on a Christian medical mission in Mexico, my amigos and bonitas say I’m Mexican-American. And they told me:
You mess with one bean — you mess with the whole burrito. 🌯
They are numero uno in the cartel and don’t follow laws-Achtung. And yes, my farts stink - because I’m a fricking vegan you twat…I take care of myself unlike you. You are nothing but a drunk and a bum just like your daddy. You bring chaos, not charisma. You couldn’t outshine a nightlight in a blackout.
Stop stealing my mixes and recordings, playing them at your sketchy gay frat parties and brothels and claiming you mixed them. You have no talent, and you’re in no position to comment on anyone’s looks. My God, DJ MAGA — you look like Dom DeLuise. You are no Enrique Iglesias — no guapo — you are fugly white trash. Your parents must have beaten you with an ugly stick.
Horny and DJ MAGA might have some appeal, and everyone says Horny is sexy and I’ll admit he has moves like MJ, but if he keeps smoking meth he’ll look like Keith Richards in a few years. Horny, you act like you’re rare, but you’re just recycled drama. You are not relevant like me and not being silenced, you’re being ignored—and there’s a difference. I made Horny and DJ MAGA — and I will break them. They’re liars, cunts, and thieves. Horny leaked his own nudes just to start a scandal.I appreciate MAGA (they have the guns), but I’m your DJ — not DJ MAGA. He’s not a real Christian. He's Karen — bossy and bitchy. Even my own mother (RIP) knew better than to tell me what to do. Why don’t you two go play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself.
As King, I issue a Majesty Decree to reopen Salem for business — and burn these Karens (including man-Karens). Burn the witches and warlocks. Don’t test the fire. 🔥
No one tells me what to do, DJ MAGA. I’ll clean the kitchen when I feel like it, you sad monkey. Horny - you are a simple tool.
I call on Quentin Tarantino, John Waters, Steve O, and Groundlings to appoint DJ Evan MC new doppelgängers. Horny and DJ MAGA are like Wi-Fi—unstable and always trying to connect where they are not wanted.
For reels that really blow go to TikTok @DJClubEvan
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